I think you advice is very good. I can relate to this,to all of this. Some of the stuff here I have already tried and ai can confirm they work some others sound like they would work and I will try them some day(I am currently trying another recepice for happines, successfullness and morality while also making the world a better place. Seeing everything on paper makes me realise I am problably going to fail).
About the "this will do part", what of this doesn't do? What if the thing we are working on is too important of maybe too urgent for it to be done mediocraly?
Maybe a deadline is closing for something like an entry to a competition that will change out lives. What if it's a piece of art that servers as our attempt to something and it will never be seen by others but we have to get it to a standard so we can get closer to the goal. What if we are rusty and have to become better quickly?
I know self-esteem usually plays a big role, or the only role (I have to fix that) but sometimes it's phisical problems, like money (on short term or on the long run)
PS: I know that either you already talked about it but I didn't understand/wasn't there, either you figured it out but haven't mentioned it, either you can solve it.
Second PS: You and Julian Gough inspired me to start my own substack. You two made me belive my ideas could actually value something to someone. So, thank you...❤️.
Thanks for your comment Oscar! It just makes me feel so good to hear that you're starting your own Substack and that I had something to do with it. Julian Gough is one of my favourite writers on here, really terrific. Please share your newsletter with me when it's up!
With this piece I'm very much writing to a specific type of personality (like mine) that gets overwhelmed by perfectionism, both in work and in life, and has trouble getting out of their own way. So there's this paradox where if you try that little bit less hard, you get better results, whereas if you feel you have to do the best you could possibly ever do (or better than you could possibly ever do) you might not even start in the first place. But there are certainly situations where we need to make sacrifices, or get something done in a hurry, or spend a period working really hard on something before we get to take another period of time off, or a bill comes due, etc.
To me the acid test is the question 'Why do I have to do this? And why do I have to do it really well?' If the answers to both these questions aren't authentic enough - that is, you can see they spring from fear rather than what you really want - then there's a good chance you'll start to resent the thing you 'have' to do. But that's not to say life has to be easy and fun all the time - life is full of pragmatism and compromise and we live in a capitalist world, so simply needing to feed yourself can be a very legitimate, authentic reason to do something! Getting in touch with the authentic reason beneath the tedium and grind can be very calming (e.g. 'sending this email is very boring, but I have to do it to keep my job, and I like my job, plus it means I can afford to live where I live, and I want to continue living here').
As for self-esteem, the more therapy I do the more it seems to me that self-compassion and self-love are the foundation that helps with just about everything else in life: building self-esteem and self-trust, setting boundaries, becoming happier and more proactive, you name it. I have a long way to go and it's a very difficult journey, but it's also interesting and exciting!
I think you advice is very good. I can relate to this,to all of this. Some of the stuff here I have already tried and ai can confirm they work some others sound like they would work and I will try them some day(I am currently trying another recepice for happines, successfullness and morality while also making the world a better place. Seeing everything on paper makes me realise I am problably going to fail).
About the "this will do part", what of this doesn't do? What if the thing we are working on is too important of maybe too urgent for it to be done mediocraly?
Maybe a deadline is closing for something like an entry to a competition that will change out lives. What if it's a piece of art that servers as our attempt to something and it will never be seen by others but we have to get it to a standard so we can get closer to the goal. What if we are rusty and have to become better quickly?
I know self-esteem usually plays a big role, or the only role (I have to fix that) but sometimes it's phisical problems, like money (on short term or on the long run)
PS: I know that either you already talked about it but I didn't understand/wasn't there, either you figured it out but haven't mentioned it, either you can solve it.
Second PS: You and Julian Gough inspired me to start my own substack. You two made me belive my ideas could actually value something to someone. So, thank you...❤️.
Thanks for your comment Oscar! It just makes me feel so good to hear that you're starting your own Substack and that I had something to do with it. Julian Gough is one of my favourite writers on here, really terrific. Please share your newsletter with me when it's up!
With this piece I'm very much writing to a specific type of personality (like mine) that gets overwhelmed by perfectionism, both in work and in life, and has trouble getting out of their own way. So there's this paradox where if you try that little bit less hard, you get better results, whereas if you feel you have to do the best you could possibly ever do (or better than you could possibly ever do) you might not even start in the first place. But there are certainly situations where we need to make sacrifices, or get something done in a hurry, or spend a period working really hard on something before we get to take another period of time off, or a bill comes due, etc.
To me the acid test is the question 'Why do I have to do this? And why do I have to do it really well?' If the answers to both these questions aren't authentic enough - that is, you can see they spring from fear rather than what you really want - then there's a good chance you'll start to resent the thing you 'have' to do. But that's not to say life has to be easy and fun all the time - life is full of pragmatism and compromise and we live in a capitalist world, so simply needing to feed yourself can be a very legitimate, authentic reason to do something! Getting in touch with the authentic reason beneath the tedium and grind can be very calming (e.g. 'sending this email is very boring, but I have to do it to keep my job, and I like my job, plus it means I can afford to live where I live, and I want to continue living here').
As for self-esteem, the more therapy I do the more it seems to me that self-compassion and self-love are the foundation that helps with just about everything else in life: building self-esteem and self-trust, setting boundaries, becoming happier and more proactive, you name it. I have a long way to go and it's a very difficult journey, but it's also interesting and exciting!