Totally true! Love DiMello. If I were to add one thing, it would be that it’s easier to be kind with yourself if you commit to doing it with other people. The way you treat others is going to be the way you treat your own shadow.
Yes so true! We're often told we treat others like we treat ourselves, but the reverse is true too, meaning there's value in some faking it till you make it (e.g. giving to charity even when you don't feel generous).
Just like while a lot of anger-at-others is a projection based on our self-image, the reverse is also true: so much of our shame = anger-at-self = anger-at-others-in-disguise (hence what I said about outrage in the post).
Thanks for commenting and delighted you're back blogging!
I wonder if this creates an unstable situation, this poem. It still seems like you're trying to get away from negative emotion, contrary to what you said in the rest of the essay, which I think creates a state of inner war.
I'm getting a lot of mileage from The Courage to Be Disliked, which says you have to accept yourself just as you are, and also that freedom is the courage to be disliked, to live the life you want regardless of what people may think.
You may be right, I'm still a novice at self-love after all! But I think there's value in consciously affirming yourself when you're learning self-acceptance - the ideal is 'I'm not a good or bad person, I just am', or not thinking about yourself at all because you're too busy doing stuff & being part of it all, but I think 'well dones' and 'good for yous' are a good stepping stone in the meantime. Rather than trying to talk myself into positive thinking though, the poem's intended to show that I already believe all the affirmations deep down without even trying - and that self-loathing and -doubt and -impatience are like these games I play with myself that have no real basis to them. I know all is well, I have everything I need and I'm on the right road, but I'm attached to stories that tell me otherwise and don't want to give them up. I don't think it's a matter of fighting these addictive stories or getting away from them, but of letting them go.
Totally true! Love DiMello. If I were to add one thing, it would be that it’s easier to be kind with yourself if you commit to doing it with other people. The way you treat others is going to be the way you treat your own shadow.
Yes so true! We're often told we treat others like we treat ourselves, but the reverse is true too, meaning there's value in some faking it till you make it (e.g. giving to charity even when you don't feel generous).
Just like while a lot of anger-at-others is a projection based on our self-image, the reverse is also true: so much of our shame = anger-at-self = anger-at-others-in-disguise (hence what I said about outrage in the post).
Thanks for commenting and delighted you're back blogging!
I wonder if this creates an unstable situation, this poem. It still seems like you're trying to get away from negative emotion, contrary to what you said in the rest of the essay, which I think creates a state of inner war.
I'm getting a lot of mileage from The Courage to Be Disliked, which says you have to accept yourself just as you are, and also that freedom is the courage to be disliked, to live the life you want regardless of what people may think.
You may be right, I'm still a novice at self-love after all! But I think there's value in consciously affirming yourself when you're learning self-acceptance - the ideal is 'I'm not a good or bad person, I just am', or not thinking about yourself at all because you're too busy doing stuff & being part of it all, but I think 'well dones' and 'good for yous' are a good stepping stone in the meantime. Rather than trying to talk myself into positive thinking though, the poem's intended to show that I already believe all the affirmations deep down without even trying - and that self-loathing and -doubt and -impatience are like these games I play with myself that have no real basis to them. I know all is well, I have everything I need and I'm on the right road, but I'm attached to stories that tell me otherwise and don't want to give them up. I don't think it's a matter of fighting these addictive stories or getting away from them, but of letting them go.